Lucy Ricardo With A Bit Of Bob The Tomato

Lucy Ricardo With a Bit of Bob the Tomato

An Interview With Carol Barnier

By Heidi Strawser, Special Projects Manager

TOS: I had the wonderful privilege of meeting you face to face at the Midwest Homeschool Convention in Cincinnati, Ohio, last spring. You are just as much fun in person as you appear to be in your pictures! Are you planning to attend all four of the conventions hosted by Brennan Dean this spring? Im sure you are invited to speak at many conventions. What is it about Brennans conventions that set them apart from the rest?

Carol: I am, indeed, attending all four of Brennans conventions. I get to speak all over the country, and other than eating or breathing, there is little that feeds my soul more than speaking at conventions and connecting directly with homeschooling moms and dads. After practically every conference, I look heavenward and say: Do I really get to keep doing this? This is waaaay too much fun. So as long as people keep coming to hear me, and my family continues to encourage me, Ill continue to speak.

Each conference has its own flavor. Brennan does a really good job of recognizing that homeschoolers are a highly varied group. He never applies a one-size-fits-all strategy. Thats why he brings in so many types of speakers who differ significantly in their message and their philosophy. You surely wont agree with them all, but youll certainly find someone who speaks to a real need in your life in a way that works for you and your family.

And then theres the Tim Hawkins factor. Brennan has Tim at most of his conferences, and having Tim there just does something to the whole atmosphere. When I sat in on Tims performance at last years Ohio conference, I turned to my friend and said, I sincerely do not know that I have ever laughed this hard. Im pretty sure it added years to my life.

TOS: I did not have an opportunity to listen to you speak last year, since I was busy greeting our readers at the TOS booth all weekend. Please tell us about some of the topics you have spoken on in the past and what youve got up your sleeve for this year.

Carol: Well, since my firstborn was very ADHD, my initial speaking topics were all about homeschooling the highly distractible child. This is the child who, when youre teaching to his sweet little face, turns and contorts himself (while still in his chair) until you find you are suddenly teaching to his rear end, his face now somewhere wrapped round the legs of above said chair. What do you do with this kid? Turns out, there are many things you can do to keep him focused, get through the lesson, and not kill each other before the day is over. These talks are still very popular today.

Eventually, however, I had to face the fact that the apple hadnt fallen far from the tree. Actually, the apple fell directly under the tree, hopped up, ran over, grabbed onto the ankle of the tree, and said, I am yours! (Its good to own these things.) So eventually I began speaking about being a highly distractible mom and wife. I sort of explain myself best by sharing that I strive for the wit of Erma Bombeck crossed with the depth of C. S. Lewis, but on most days all I really achieve is a solid Lucy Ricardo with a bit of Bob the Tomato.

I sort of fell into some other topics as needs emerged. This may sound odd, but I began to sense a profound, almost medical need to laugh. We homeschooling moms are really hard on ourselves. We constantly look at other moms and then question the things were doing for our children. We start the year with a sensible list of things to accomplish, but after every support group meeting, we frenetically add to this list to the point that it becomes unworkable and exhausting. So almost instinctively, I began adding more humor to my talks. The one talk probably most enjoyed for the laughs is called 17 Years of Homeschooling and I Hardly Twitch at ALL Any More! I am pretty sure I need the laughter as much or more than anyone in the audience. This thing we do, while so worthwhile, is nonetheless very hard. Laughter is essential.

I do however, have a serious side, and that shows up in my talk about my years as a prodigal, an atheist one at that. In the brief hour that I get to communicate with hurting parents at a conference, I share the things I believe they can do to best be the face of Christ to the child who is losing his or her way. When a child leaves the faith or makes really self-destructive decisions, all parents are in pain. But homeschooling parents can almost go into shameful hiding. I want these parents to know they are not alone and that there are things to say and do that can help.

The newest talk Im doing is for the teen track. Its about looking at how youre made and figuring out Gods plan for your life. Were calling it Dont Fight Your DNA, and itll encourage kids to let go of the desire to be like all their peers and instead, take a look at the blueprint God used in designing them. Hes got something wonderful in mind for them. Now they need to figure out what it is and get busy.

TOS: Are you one of those super homeschoolers? You know, the June Cleaver type, whose children are all perfectly well-behaved, dressed in matching outfits that you had time to make while slaving over a hot stove to make a delicious five-course dinner for your husband and cleaning your already spotless house. Ive listened to several of them talk in the past, and I leave feeling really inadequate.

Carol: [This question resulted in a raucous, out loud guffaw from me that sounded something like, Pwah ha ha sploot snert snort.] Excuse me, I think I need to wipe off my computer screen. First you need to read what it says on my business cards: Delightful Speaker, Entertaining Author, Adequate Wife, Pitiful Housekeeper.

This is really who I am. When I first began homeschooling seventeen years ago, I attended the homeschool conference in our area and I, too, saw the June Cleaver speakers. They were beautifully dressed, their hair was done, they were sweet, quiet, graceful, and not on medication. No, really. They were just that lovely. I came away thinking that perhaps Im really not cut out to homeschool. But since we truly had no alternatives, I stuck it out.

Now, of course, I wouldnt trade it. But I had to chart a different path than the one Id been shown. Today, I like that I offer a sort of takeaway from my talks that my audiences can cart home. From a June Cleaver talk, parents often leave despairing, saying, I dont think I can do this. But from my talks, people walk away saying: Heavens! If that woman can homeschool, surely I can. Its a little party favor I like to send home with everyone. Were still trying to figure out how to put it in a cute little bag.

TOS: I know that you have a spent a lot of time researching how to best teach the highly distractible child. I have a few of those children, so Id be interested in hearing what you have found in your research. Do you have any resources that might be of help to parents of distractible children?

Carol: The first six months we homeschooled were dreadful, because I kept trying to apply standard teaching methods to my not-so-standard learning child. But eventually I figured out what worked. One of the biggest keys is putting motion into learning. Once I discovered this, I collected many different ways this can easily be done with practically any lesson. Five years later I ended up putting what Id learned into my first book, How Do I Get My Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning? It was important to me to not only give parents many tools they could use to help this child take charge of his focus and work through the lessons, but also to help Mom and Dad understand this kid. Why does he fall out of his chair so much? Why is there an intensity in his responses that is not in their other childrens responses? And why does a simple twenty-minute math lesson take two hours? Turns out there are some really good answers. And . . . there are some really good solutions.

My latest book, The Big WHAT NOW Book of Learning Styles, is extremely user-friendly. Its set up like a cookbook. Instead of being broken down into meats, veggies, and so on, its broken into academic subjects: science, math, spelling, etc. You flip open to a subject like spelling, and there youll find lots of teaching recipes, ways to serve up spelling in ways that just may appeal to how your child learns.

Of course I dont want to forget the moms. If your brain is as non-linear as mine (squirrel!), then you would probably enjoy my book for the distractible mom. Its called If Im Diapering a Watermelon, Then Whered I Leave the Baby? Its about keeping track of things like keys, hairbrushes, children, and our ever meandering thoughts. It is not about natural diapering philosophy (in spite of the fact that it continues to show up on book lists about diapers); it is not about dealing with preschoolers, although if keeping track of them is a problem, you might find it helpful. Its about navigating your very unlinear mind through this very linear-loving world. I call us Gloriously Unregimented.

TOS: Is there anything else that youd like to share with our readers?

Carol: Just this. There are as many ways to homeschool as there are homeschoolers. One of the greatest blessings about homeschooling is the expansive freedom it gives us to pursue and grab hold of whatever works for our children and our family.

There has never been a better time to homeschool. The support networks are everywhere, the resources are plentiful, and the community is huge. You really can do this. If you get stuck, get help. Its all over the place. And if you find a moment of doubt, grab my picture and begin repeating, If she can do it, I surely can.

Heidis sig

Heidi Strawser has been married to her husband Brian for nineteen years. They live in central Pennsylvania, right in the heart of Amish country, where they homeschool their three children, aged 17, 10, and 4. Heidi is the Special Projects Manager for TOS and enjoys serving as the Captain of the Homeschool Crew (www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/HomeschoolCrew) and developing the new Schoolhouse Planners each year. When shes not working, she can be found hanging out with her family or curling up with a good book. You can learn more about Heidi by visiting her blog (http://heidi-strawser.blogspot.com).

Carol Barnier is author of three books, mother to three children and wife to one husband. She is a popular speaker and radio guest across the country. You may have heard her on Focus on the Family’s Weekend Magazine or Moody Radio. She has written for Proverbs 31 Woman, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, Club House Magazine, Thriving Family, and others. She strives to provide practical and usable ideas in each and every talk. She especially enjoys connecting with folks on her free online coaching community, Sizzle Bop, created for families who homeschool highly distractible kids. (We need each other). Check it out at www.SizzleBop.com. Visit Carol’s speaker site www.CarolBarnier.com.

Copyright, 2011. Used with permission. All rights reserved by author. Originally appeared in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, Spring 2011.
Visit The Old Schoolhouse at www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com to view a full-length sample copy of the print magazine especially for homeschoolers. Click the graphic of the moving computer monitor on the left. Email the Publisher at [email protected]
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